The dynamics of the families we belong to evolve over time. When we welcome an individual into our family—whether that individual is human or not—a transformation takes place, a shift in the energy of the family unit. The birth or adoption of a child, the introduction of a spouse or stepparent, or a pet, can mark a new direction in the life’s flow of energies for the family as a whole. A simple welcoming ritual can serve as the platform upon which every member of the household, old and new, gathers together to joyfully mark this new phase of family life. Encouraging every member of the family to take part in the ceremony, will foster a sense of unity and help members come together to grow into the new family paradigm as a group.
The transition from one family dynamic to another isn’t always clear. The needs and desires of new members may not always correspond with those of other members of the household. It is precisely because the introduction of a new family member can interrupt the flow of energy which the family previously thrived that it is so important to respect the change and honor the induction of the new member.
When welcoming an adult into the family unit, a simple sand ceremony can reinforce each member’s individuality and symbolically integrate the newest family member into the whole. During the ceremony, parents, children, and extended relations are given sand of a different color or texture and, one by one, pour it into a thoughtfully chosen container. The rainbow of sand can then be displayed as a reminder of family unanimity. To honor the introduction of a child, parents can hold a ritual during which they formally introduce their child to the other members of the family and invite each to speak a blessing over the child.
Animals can be honored by having the family form a circle around the animal and shower it with words of greeting and love. Keeping a special place as a safe haven for the animal, will show a feeling of respect for the animals well being.
Each family is different and may feel more comfortable using a ritual or ceremony of their own design to welcome the new member to their household. However it chooses to honor a new family member, know that the decision to acknowledge the manner in which the household has grown, will make the transition a beautiful and memorable event in the family history.
Friday, June 19, 2009
Monday, June 01, 2009
Where Do You Put Your Indian When You Are Acting White
Where Do You Put Your Indian When You’re Acting White
Many years ago when I asked my Grandfather (Dragging Wolf) why he did not buy him self some new clothes and dress up a little. He smiled and said, “it is time for a lesson child. Just yesterday I was asked the very same question that I had asked Grandfather so many years ago, so, time for this lesson.” I hope this enlightens you as much as it did me.
Grandfather and I walked the short distance to a large oak tree, who's branches nearly touched the ground and we sat beneath it. Grandfather patted the trunk of this enormous tree and asked ,“if we took all of the leaves from this tree and put them on the willow over there, and brought all the willow leaves over here, would this still be an oak tree? Would the willow still be a willow tree?”
As I pondered this question, he drew out his pipe and slowly filled it with his favorite Cherokee blend tobacco. As the aroma of rich southern tobacco billowed around us he asked me one of the most important questions of my life.
“WHERE DO YOU PUT YOUR INDIAN WHEN YOU ARE ACTING WHITE?”
I looked quickly at him wondering what I was supposed to say, my Indian? Where do I put it?
Softly he said, “Many people work very hard to be some thing other that who they are. they must have the finest clothes, the biggest hat, but all of that finery does not change who you are. You can not take who you were born as and put it away until you decide to be yourself again.”
“When you wrap a box for a birthday or Christmas, you work to put the wrapping on perfectly so it will be pleasing to an others eye, but once the box is unwrapped it is still the same box, the wrapping does not change the contents. People may darken their skin or lighten their hair, but they still can not change what is within. You may work hard to act or look white, but to accomplish this you must first put your Indian away, and so I must ask...how and where?”“So when you are working hard to be someone else, what do you do with the Indian you were born to be? If you continue to cover up who you are you will soon forget where you came from.”
“Being born Indian or White or Black or Asian is not a choice, it is a privilege. Our Great Creator honors us with life. We are to honor HIM by being the best caretakers of that life we can be. This Life gift is not ours to keep and hide away with fancy wrappings or pretense, we are to embrace life around us, be proud of who we were born to be, and honor our Great Creator. The drums will always beat loudly in our hearts even through the noise of the white world, and every time your feet touch our Mother's breast our souls will feel the pull of those who walked before us.”
“So when you go to buy that fancy suit or dress ask your self, do I dress because it makes me feel good, or do I dress to hide?”
Many years ago when I asked my Grandfather (Dragging Wolf) why he did not buy him self some new clothes and dress up a little. He smiled and said, “it is time for a lesson child. Just yesterday I was asked the very same question that I had asked Grandfather so many years ago, so, time for this lesson.” I hope this enlightens you as much as it did me.
Grandfather and I walked the short distance to a large oak tree, who's branches nearly touched the ground and we sat beneath it. Grandfather patted the trunk of this enormous tree and asked ,“if we took all of the leaves from this tree and put them on the willow over there, and brought all the willow leaves over here, would this still be an oak tree? Would the willow still be a willow tree?”
As I pondered this question, he drew out his pipe and slowly filled it with his favorite Cherokee blend tobacco. As the aroma of rich southern tobacco billowed around us he asked me one of the most important questions of my life.
“WHERE DO YOU PUT YOUR INDIAN WHEN YOU ARE ACTING WHITE?”
I looked quickly at him wondering what I was supposed to say, my Indian? Where do I put it?
Softly he said, “Many people work very hard to be some thing other that who they are. they must have the finest clothes, the biggest hat, but all of that finery does not change who you are. You can not take who you were born as and put it away until you decide to be yourself again.”
“When you wrap a box for a birthday or Christmas, you work to put the wrapping on perfectly so it will be pleasing to an others eye, but once the box is unwrapped it is still the same box, the wrapping does not change the contents. People may darken their skin or lighten their hair, but they still can not change what is within. You may work hard to act or look white, but to accomplish this you must first put your Indian away, and so I must ask...how and where?”“So when you are working hard to be someone else, what do you do with the Indian you were born to be? If you continue to cover up who you are you will soon forget where you came from.”
“Being born Indian or White or Black or Asian is not a choice, it is a privilege. Our Great Creator honors us with life. We are to honor HIM by being the best caretakers of that life we can be. This Life gift is not ours to keep and hide away with fancy wrappings or pretense, we are to embrace life around us, be proud of who we were born to be, and honor our Great Creator. The drums will always beat loudly in our hearts even through the noise of the white world, and every time your feet touch our Mother's breast our souls will feel the pull of those who walked before us.”
“So when you go to buy that fancy suit or dress ask your self, do I dress because it makes me feel good, or do I dress to hide?”
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