When I find myself in an argument, I feel I am losing control of my emotions and they have taken on lives of their own. When I become aware that this is happening, taking a deep breath can help me step back away from the situation. Once I separate myself from the heat of the moment, I find the emotional trigger that began the argument has little to do with the present situation, yet may have brought up feelings related to something else entirely. Looking honestly at what caused my reaction allows me to consciously act more appropriately to the situation and make the best choices.
We can ask questions of our mates and friends to help all of us discover the source of arguments. The shared awareness can aid in finding simple solutions to something physical, like low blood sugar or even a hormonal surge. Maybe we are too serious, and we can just laugh and watch the tension dissolve. We could we are addicted to the excitement that drama brings and the chemicals that our body creates when we are angry. But there may be a deeper issue that requires discussion, understanding, and patience. The more we allow ourselves to step back and examine our reasons for arguing, the easier it becomes to allow real feelings to surface and guide us toward solutions that improve our lives.
When we are clear about our feelings and intentions and communicate them, we have a far better chance of getting what we want than if we lose control and allow our subconscious minds to manipulate the situation. We might take our frustrations out on the people closest to us because we feel safe and comfortable with them. Yet, misplaced anger can cause more harm than good. Debating for what we truly believe can empower us and help us to direct our passions toward greater life experiences. Truly knowing our reasons for loosing control and arguing enables us to grow emotionally in ways that will affect our whole being.
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