We are taught from the time we are children to give away our power to others. When we were told to kiss and/or hug relatives or friends of the family when we did not want to, we taught ourselves to override our inner sense of knowing. Then there are many experiences at school and work that fortifies the “give away power“ syndrome. At this point, we may not know how to hold on to our power. We have been giving it away so automatically and it has become ingrained.
To a degree, giving our energy to others is simply part of the social contract, and we feel we have to do it in order to survive. Is it possible to exchange energy in a way that preserves our inner integrity and stability? Yes! This begins in a small way. Start by listening to our inner voice that continues to let us know what we want, no matter how many times we override its messages.
Examples of how we give away our power are buying into trends, letting other people make decisions for us, not voting, and not voicing an opinion. With not giving our power away, we must be aware of the opposite side, which is standing in our power and being aggressive. Being aggressive is one form of fear, and the remedy is to let our inner balance come back into play.
As we build a relationship with our power, we begin to see that we do not always have to do what we are being asked or told to do by others. We do not have to jump on every trend. All we have to do is have the confidence to listen to our own voice. Let it guide us as we make decisions in our life. Keep in mind and remember to strive for balance.
Showing posts with label self control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self control. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
Our Comfort zone
Our Comfort Zone
Most of us have had the experience of doing some dreadful task only to finish it with feeling invigorated, filled with a new sense of confidence and strength. What is funny is most of the time when we do them, we come out changed and wondering what we were so worried about or why it took us so long. We may begin to look for other tasks we’ve avoided so that we can feel that same heady mix of excitement and completion.
No matter the reason we avoid things, we think it will force a change we’re not ready for, yet, putting it off only creates more obstacles for us. On the other hand, when we face the task at hand, no matter how onerous, that action creates a flow in our lives and allows us to grow. The relief is palpable when we stand finished, knowing we did something even though it was hard or we didn't want to do it. Yet if we cling to our comfort zone, never addressing the things we don’t want to face, we cut ourselves off from the flow and growth of life.
It seems, we all have at least one thing in our life that never seems to get done. To bring that task to the top of the list and promising ourselves that we will do it on such and such a date, is an act that could liberate a tremendous amount of energy in our lives. Whatever the task, we will allow ourselves to be fueled by the promise of the feelings of exhilaration and confidence that will be the natural reward for conquering that obstacle.
Most of us have had the experience of doing some dreadful task only to finish it with feeling invigorated, filled with a new sense of confidence and strength. What is funny is most of the time when we do them, we come out changed and wondering what we were so worried about or why it took us so long. We may begin to look for other tasks we’ve avoided so that we can feel that same heady mix of excitement and completion.
No matter the reason we avoid things, we think it will force a change we’re not ready for, yet, putting it off only creates more obstacles for us. On the other hand, when we face the task at hand, no matter how onerous, that action creates a flow in our lives and allows us to grow. The relief is palpable when we stand finished, knowing we did something even though it was hard or we didn't want to do it. Yet if we cling to our comfort zone, never addressing the things we don’t want to face, we cut ourselves off from the flow and growth of life.
It seems, we all have at least one thing in our life that never seems to get done. To bring that task to the top of the list and promising ourselves that we will do it on such and such a date, is an act that could liberate a tremendous amount of energy in our lives. Whatever the task, we will allow ourselves to be fueled by the promise of the feelings of exhilaration and confidence that will be the natural reward for conquering that obstacle.
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Step Away From Anger
When I find myself in an argument, I feel I am losing control of my emotions and they have taken on lives of their own. When I become aware that this is happening, taking a deep breath can help me step back away from the situation. Once I separate myself from the heat of the moment, I find the emotional trigger that began the argument has little to do with the present situation, yet may have brought up feelings related to something else entirely. Looking honestly at what caused my reaction allows me to consciously act more appropriately to the situation and make the best choices.
We can ask questions of our mates and friends to help all of us discover the source of arguments. The shared awareness can aid in finding simple solutions to something physical, like low blood sugar or even a hormonal surge. Maybe we are too serious, and we can just laugh and watch the tension dissolve. We could we are addicted to the excitement that drama brings and the chemicals that our body creates when we are angry. But there may be a deeper issue that requires discussion, understanding, and patience. The more we allow ourselves to step back and examine our reasons for arguing, the easier it becomes to allow real feelings to surface and guide us toward solutions that improve our lives.
When we are clear about our feelings and intentions and communicate them, we have a far better chance of getting what we want than if we lose control and allow our subconscious minds to manipulate the situation. We might take our frustrations out on the people closest to us because we feel safe and comfortable with them. Yet, misplaced anger can cause more harm than good. Debating for what we truly believe can empower us and help us to direct our passions toward greater life experiences. Truly knowing our reasons for loosing control and arguing enables us to grow emotionally in ways that will affect our whole being.
We can ask questions of our mates and friends to help all of us discover the source of arguments. The shared awareness can aid in finding simple solutions to something physical, like low blood sugar or even a hormonal surge. Maybe we are too serious, and we can just laugh and watch the tension dissolve. We could we are addicted to the excitement that drama brings and the chemicals that our body creates when we are angry. But there may be a deeper issue that requires discussion, understanding, and patience. The more we allow ourselves to step back and examine our reasons for arguing, the easier it becomes to allow real feelings to surface and guide us toward solutions that improve our lives.
When we are clear about our feelings and intentions and communicate them, we have a far better chance of getting what we want than if we lose control and allow our subconscious minds to manipulate the situation. We might take our frustrations out on the people closest to us because we feel safe and comfortable with them. Yet, misplaced anger can cause more harm than good. Debating for what we truly believe can empower us and help us to direct our passions toward greater life experiences. Truly knowing our reasons for loosing control and arguing enables us to grow emotionally in ways that will affect our whole being.
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